1. Thank You
Start off the letter by thanking your ex. This approach will catch your ex off guard and will trigger your ex to keep reading. If your ex was the one to break off the relationship, you can thank him for being brave enough to make a good decision. Even though you may feel like the decision to break up was terrible, it is in your best interest to show your ex that you are okay with the decision. Follow up the first statement by admitting to any wrongdoing. For example, if you lied to your ex, you can say, “You were right about the lying. I am sorry for not treating you as I should have.” This is also a good opportunity to briefly apologize if you reacted negatively to the break up.
2. The New You
Jump into a new topic as soon as you finish the first two sentences of the letter. You don’t want your ex to think about you in that light for too long. In order to get your ex back to a place of happiness and comfort, you have to express that in your letter. You can mention something exciting that you are going to be doing soon. For example, if you were planning a skiing trip, let the person know how excited you about it. Other things that you can mention include: a new television show that you would both enjoy, concert that you want to go to or an interesting book that you stumbled across. This will change the intense tone of the situation and bring your ex into a state of ease. Show your ex that while you were once upset about the break up, you are now at peace with it. Your ex will be surprised to see how mature you are being about the situation. In fact, you will come off more attractive and confident, which will slowly get your ex to stop running away from you.
3. Let’s Be Friends
Conclude the letter with stating that you would like to be friends. If you were the person who did something wrong to cause the break up, you should still mention the possibility of friendship. Let your ex know that you would like to see if a friendship can form over time. You can also say that you would like to catch up sometime and see how things are going. Keep the ending short and sweet. Resist any urge to tell your ex how much your miss your relationship or that you haven’t been sleeping at night. If your ex ended things, you won’t get the relationship back by playing the sad card in this game.
No one likes the smell of desperation. If you approach your ex, while coming from a place of abundance, it will come across in your words and actions. By sending your ex a letter that shows maturity, excitement and generosity, your ex will be open more to the idea of becoming your friend. If anything, your ex will be curious to see how you’ve changed and may start questioning the decision to part ways.